You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, 'I lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along.'
Eleanor Roosevelt
Life changes and devastating events happen in a split second. One day you are on top of the world and feel invincible. The next day you are called by your doctor and told you have cancer. The person you love and planned your life with suddenly tells you that they are not in love with you. You are doing great in your job and working your butt off, you are being praised from your clients, staff, and bosses; only to find out you are being terminated. Your parent has given up the fight from an illness and are taken from you. Your children are playing and laughing when they are injured and a normal day is spent in the hospital.
True life story, I had a friend who came home from work and kissed her 2 young daughters as they were running out the door to go play with the neighborhood kids. Just an ordinary day, dinner time came around and her oldest daughter showed up, but not her youngest. After a quick sweep through the neighborhood, and sudden instinct in her and in a panic she called 911. “My daughter is missing” The quick kiss she received from her daughter Maddie running out to play was the last time she felt her, communicated with her. Maddie was murdered by a 14 year old boy who lived across the street. This did not only devastated a family, this affected a whole community.
Why does God allow these terrible things to happen? Why is there cancer, why do children get abducted, why do people fall out of love? I have to admit I have questioned, with God and all of His power, why do these things happen? The reality is we are not in Heaven, free from sin and evil, in heaven everything is perfect.
We have all dealt with devastating moments and most of us are still recovering from them. Life’s devastating lessons taught me, I am an over comer. Fighting for my life, fighting for my family, fighting for financial stability and fighting for love, though it felt to me at times I was fighting all by myself, God was with me. The truth is, He was already fighting and taking the big blows before I ever knew I was going to take up my sward. He put fantastic people in my life that fought with me, are still fighting for me and are my biggest fans.
You cannot plan for a life changing event, but your true character is tested and comes out when it strikes. Will you choose to be warrior an over comer?
Maddie’s mom, Sheila, is fighting laws to keep children safe, and honoring her sweet daughter by being a light and advocate for other families who’s children were taken from them, her daughter Jessie (big sister) just graduated from UNF and is a Victims Advocate with the State Attorney’s office in Florida. Just goes to show you that ordinary people, with devastating circumstances, are doing and can do extraordinary things.
Thursday, October 10, 2013
Tuesday, October 8, 2013
Being honest with yourself
Question: Have you ever been asked “what is the hardest thing you find about being married and/or having a family“? Go ahead and ask yourself that question? Where you stand right now in your life what would your answer be?
In the past mine would have been “staying faithful, finding time for a girls night out with my friends, how can I fit those designer shoes in my family budget, how can I put in 90 hours at work each week and who is going to keep the kids, who will watch the kids while I go to the gym, affording designer clothes for the girls" Pathetic I know, but this is honesty.
My now and forever answer, The hardest part of having a family is finding ways to show them just how much I love them each and every day and making sure I give my absolute best in all aspects of life so no matter what I do they are proud of me.
In the past mine would have been “staying faithful, finding time for a girls night out with my friends, how can I fit those designer shoes in my family budget, how can I put in 90 hours at work each week and who is going to keep the kids, who will watch the kids while I go to the gym, affording designer clothes for the girls" Pathetic I know, but this is honesty.
My now and forever answer, The hardest part of having a family is finding ways to show them just how much I love them each and every day and making sure I give my absolute best in all aspects of life so no matter what I do they are proud of me.
Monday, October 7, 2013
Sweet Surrender
We have made it to day 25 of the Love Dare. So much has happened since I took the challenge of the dare. Years of walls that Charles and I had both built as defense mechanisms have crumbled. Time spent as a family is more precious and sacred.
A couple of chapters of the dare have dealt with Addictions and Lust. Of course this could be gambling, pornography, infidelity and drugs, but those addictions did not apply to our family. We have dealt with addictions to Netflix, Face book, Blogging, Video Games, Work, and delaying family time to Clean the house. These things might not seem much, but they slowly creep in and were barriers getting in the way of our family time. So we set family boundaries.
I am getting up earlier to have some me time, take a shower, read the bible and pray, prepare for the day (making lunches, signing homework, and working out if time permits) This allows the family time to sleep and energize while I am feeding my soul. Charles and I only get on Face book with each other, and to share updates and funny stories with Abby. YouTube is watched at night before bed, blogging is done on my lunch time, we watch a movie together as a family after dinner, if video games are played we are all in the room being a fan of the player. We even work as a family team with house cleaning we all pitch in to vacuum, steam mop, and deep clean daily. The house is tidy and this makes for a happier family.
I was a real hot mess before I met Charles, I had dealt with so much physically, mentally, and I had faced death on more than 1 occasion. I really think I had a hard time forgiving myself, no, I know this. You can’t stop your body from getting Cancer, but you can sure change your perspective on the way you deal with it. If someone has a sure will to hurt you, you can’t stop them, but you have a choice to stay in the abuse, or find the will to leave and put trust in God. I had been through all of this, but so had my children and I had a really hard time forgiving myself with allowing my kids to watch this. Doubting myself, hating myself, and when I would start to feel good about decisions I made as a parent, I would start to hate myself again. I knew my kids deserved better than what I had to give. The truth is “THEY DID”. It was up to me to get on the right path with God. Surrendering and giving Him my imperfections, my doubts, my insecurities laying them all down at His feet. This has been a process, it did not happen overnight. I have learned that God loves me despite my imperfections and he does allow illnesses to happen. I also know that the girls need a mother, and they love me. God plucks one bad root out of me each day and plants new seeds that I am nurturing and passing on. Surrendering my life meant forgiving people and forgiving me.
God gave me a True Partner in Charles, it’s not 50/50, 60/40 it’s 100/100. We 100% rely on God to guide our family and we 100% trust in Him to lead us, and we 100% love our family and we believe our family and time with them takes first place. The Love of God is euphoric; it fills emptiness, loneliness, anguish, and fear. Do I get sad because I miss my dad? Do I get anxious and lonely to see my family? Do I think back on the past and get overwhelmed? Do I look at my checkbook and think what in the world are we going to do? Well absolutely, daily. But I am able to deal with all of these things so much better now. I just talk to the Lord and give it to Him. My perspective changes, my mind is filled with a plan of action (God doesn’t do it all, He does require we do and play our part); but daily our family is renewed, strengthened and loving the Joy.
A couple of chapters of the dare have dealt with Addictions and Lust. Of course this could be gambling, pornography, infidelity and drugs, but those addictions did not apply to our family. We have dealt with addictions to Netflix, Face book, Blogging, Video Games, Work, and delaying family time to Clean the house. These things might not seem much, but they slowly creep in and were barriers getting in the way of our family time. So we set family boundaries.
I am getting up earlier to have some me time, take a shower, read the bible and pray, prepare for the day (making lunches, signing homework, and working out if time permits) This allows the family time to sleep and energize while I am feeding my soul. Charles and I only get on Face book with each other, and to share updates and funny stories with Abby. YouTube is watched at night before bed, blogging is done on my lunch time, we watch a movie together as a family after dinner, if video games are played we are all in the room being a fan of the player. We even work as a family team with house cleaning we all pitch in to vacuum, steam mop, and deep clean daily. The house is tidy and this makes for a happier family.
I was a real hot mess before I met Charles, I had dealt with so much physically, mentally, and I had faced death on more than 1 occasion. I really think I had a hard time forgiving myself, no, I know this. You can’t stop your body from getting Cancer, but you can sure change your perspective on the way you deal with it. If someone has a sure will to hurt you, you can’t stop them, but you have a choice to stay in the abuse, or find the will to leave and put trust in God. I had been through all of this, but so had my children and I had a really hard time forgiving myself with allowing my kids to watch this. Doubting myself, hating myself, and when I would start to feel good about decisions I made as a parent, I would start to hate myself again. I knew my kids deserved better than what I had to give. The truth is “THEY DID”. It was up to me to get on the right path with God. Surrendering and giving Him my imperfections, my doubts, my insecurities laying them all down at His feet. This has been a process, it did not happen overnight. I have learned that God loves me despite my imperfections and he does allow illnesses to happen. I also know that the girls need a mother, and they love me. God plucks one bad root out of me each day and plants new seeds that I am nurturing and passing on. Surrendering my life meant forgiving people and forgiving me.
God gave me a True Partner in Charles, it’s not 50/50, 60/40 it’s 100/100. We 100% rely on God to guide our family and we 100% trust in Him to lead us, and we 100% love our family and we believe our family and time with them takes first place. The Love of God is euphoric; it fills emptiness, loneliness, anguish, and fear. Do I get sad because I miss my dad? Do I get anxious and lonely to see my family? Do I think back on the past and get overwhelmed? Do I look at my checkbook and think what in the world are we going to do? Well absolutely, daily. But I am able to deal with all of these things so much better now. I just talk to the Lord and give it to Him. My perspective changes, my mind is filled with a plan of action (God doesn’t do it all, He does require we do and play our part); but daily our family is renewed, strengthened and loving the Joy.
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